My 5 year old has learnt the art of guilt tripping..Help!

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Imagine the scene, its bank holiday the last day of a lovely long weekend and some much needed time to rest and play away from work. I was looking forward to a chilled morning with the kids and then a fun afternoon when hubby came in from work. Instead we woke to rain, wind, cold and a hyper 5 year old. The end of the pay period and the weather put pay to any fabulous activities I could muster and so a day inside loomed, long, dark and drawn out. (OK maybe I exaggerate a bit)

Hyper 5 year old turned into defiant hyper 5 year old after lunch and then horrid, defiant, hyper child after tea.  Pocket money was banned, nice toys were banned, the beloved cuddly Tyler was banned. There was nothing left to ban! I was tearing my hair out and I don’t often admit to that but let’s just say all the childcare qualifications in the world and all the experience in nurseries just can not prepare you for 5 year old girls.  It’s a good job the hair extensions are long gone or she would have been repaying her pocket money back to me for months to come!

There was however about an hour of calm, a small oasis where she did become my little angel and she played in her cafe and served us hot chocolate and cookies. However the halo soon slipped.

So the 5 year old hyper, defiant and horrid little girl was bathed and then sent to bed in floods of tears. Doing the good mother thing I sat down on the edge of the bed and had a ‘chat’. You should never go to sleep on a row. This little blue eyed girl sniffled away and looked at me intently suddenly she reminded me of myself. I was a bit of a handful at times according to my mother. I unlocked memories at the back of my head and suddenly brought to mind how my mum spoke to me and so I said ‘ Sweetheart I can’t live in a shouty house, you have to stop behaving like this. Your Nana used to tell me that if I didn’t behave I would be sent away to a naughty girls school, is that what you want?’ Suddenly she looked horrified and I thought I had got through but she just replied ‘ There is no naughty girls schools round here’  Goodness me she is clever 😉 so swift change in tact, maybe my mother wasn’t always right after all 😉

So I picked her up, put her on my knee and gave her a cuddle and explained I was looking forward to a lovely day off work with them but she had made it a sad day. She looked at me all big blue eyes and a sniffly nose, tears running down her face and she said ‘but mummy you are always at work’

Wow…5 years old and she has learnt the art of the guilt trip! I nearly ended up a blubbering wreck. What do I say to that? I know I am not always at work but is that how my little girl sees it? Suddenly all the angst and frustration of the day melted away. She was my gorgeous little girl, I held her tight and close (just like my mother did when I was scared or sad) and reassured her. I tried to explain why mummy had to work. Obviously left out the bit about the government cutting tax credits, putting prices up etc etc 😉 She is clever but not old enough for politics.

I found myself saying that I would take her on a special treat somewhere just me and her, a girls day. She wants to see Brave and I said that’s what we will do. Her eyes lit up and she stopped sniffling. There it was at the back of her eyes the little glint and I realised my little 5 year old was mastering the art of the guilt trip and I had fallen for it!

Holding her closer still I whispered to her ‘well if you can be good for the next few days then we will go and see Brave’ 🙂

Mummy has perfected the art of bribery

Two days after the event, this morning I asked her ‘do you really think Mummy works to much?’ She looked up at me and shook her head and gave me a big cuddle. Well I just had to cImageheck…

Hello world!

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I love writing, thinking, communicating, discussing and love getting my own opinion out there 🙂 so I thought I should get a blog and ended up here. It seems as if everyone and their dog have blogs at the moment and I felt I was missing out. I need more of an outlet than the 140 characters on twitter,  I have never been very good at getting to the point. My English teacher dreaded my homework coming in as it was page after page after page, what can I say I tell a good story (just not a short one) anyway I digress…

Having been encouraged by various friends to pursue writing I thought why not. So my blog is about me sharing my thoughts and maybe my wisdom but also about me having an outlet to develop my creativity and my writing. It will make me feel as if I am doing something and if I can cheer people up along the way, give them something to thing about and give some helpful insight then even better.  Please feel free to share the blog and to comment.

So come join me and who knows where we will go.